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Oscars Live Blog!

26.February 2012

11:39: That’s a wrap, friends. And may next year be chock full of better films. But probably none better than The Artist.

11:36: Hooray! That makes me very happy. And thank goodness Uggie is there!

11:32:  Why is Tom Cruise presenting? Random.

11:29: Well, that’s fine. Meryl should have won a dozen of these things that she didn’t.

11:24: And now it’s time for Meryl Streep, surely.

11:21: I still really just can’t believe War Horse was nominated. Really.

11:18: Hooray! Jean Dujardin! Amazing!

11:14: Best Actor! Who will it be?

10:58: The music at this Oscars is so weird.

10:54: And a Smithie won an Oscar! Awesome.

10:53: HOORAY!
The Descendants: 1
The Help: 1
The Artist: 3
Hugo: 5
Midnight in Paris: 1

10:51: Directing. This should be interesting.

10:38: The cast of Bridesmaids. Lovely.

10:30: REALLY?! Woody Allen? Come on!

10:27: Adapted screenplay! And they’re mocking Angelina!

The Descendants: 1
The Help: 1
The Artist: 2
Hugo: 5
Midnight in Paris: 1

10:24: You can just about all but see Angelina’s hoo-ha when she walks in that dress.

10:19: As Dan just said: “Flight of the Conchords and Trent Reznor are winning Oscars for music!”

10:14: HURRAH!  The Artist! I mean, obviously it needed to win for best score. Really.

The Help: 1
The Artist: 2
Hugo: 5

10:12: One day, I’d like to see the Oscars produced by Michael Bay. That would be AWESOME.

9:58: Best supporting actor! Exciting! Christopher Plummer wins – there is justice in the world.

9:56: Oh yeah, Hugo is charging ahead.

The Help: 1
The Artist: 1
Hugo: 5

9:47: Rango! Surprising!

9:41: I do love Robert Downey Jr. Looks like he’s filming Iron Man, if his beard means anything.

9:35: Cirque du Soleil + Danny Elfman. This makes a lot of sense to me.

9:29: I LOVE this photo of Brad and Angelina.

9:26: I think we can see how this is shaping up.

The Help: 1
The Artist: 1
Hugo: 4

9:12: Octavia Spencer. I feel sad for Bejo, but it looks like Octavia was pretty great in that movie.

The Help: 1
The Artist: 1
Hugo: 2

9:09: It’s always hard to predict which accent Christian Bale will go with.

9:09: Here’s a handy gallery of the dresses.

9:06: I always love when Sandy speaks German.

9:04: The Artist: 1
Hugo: 2

Just keeping score.

8:54: J.Lo: Your dress is not loose enough to show you’re a lady.

8:45: We’re 2 for 2 so far. Hugo is going to run away with a lot, I have a feeling.

8:43: It’s my uncle Ivan! I didn’t know he was a cinematographer.

8:42: How do I get the job of Celebrity Seat Filler?

8:40: “Owen Wilson was so great as Woody the gentile.”

8:38: I always appreciate the Billy Crystal musical number.

8:36: I like the screen being pulled down! Also, Billy Crystal has had *this* much too much work done.

8:31: It’s a Billy Crystal film montage!  LOVE it!

8:30: I want one of those Mercedes they just advertised.

8:25: Chris Rock has oddly good eye makeup on.

8:23: Who started Brian Grazer off with that hairdo? Why has no one told him it’s dumb?

8:22: Tom Hanks’s double-breasted tux makes him look very hippy.

8:20: Natalie Portman looks lovely. I don’t love her necklace – I mean it’s sparkly and beautiful, but it’s a little too intricate.

8:17: I’d like to remind us all: Stacy Keibler used to be a WWE Wrestler. You just let your imagination run wild with that information.

8:15: I love how Tim Gunn and Nina Garcia seem to actually like each other.

8:12: Where’s Angelina?!

8:04: I would kind of like to hang out with Gwyneth Paltrow and Cameron Diaz while they’re getting ready for the Oscars together. Even though both of them annoy me.

8:03: Bradley Cooper needs to shave that mustache off.  But, he needs to ALWAYS do Christopher Walken.

7:56: Penelope Cruz! Beautiful! Also, I want those diamonds that are around her neck.

7:46: NINA GARCIA! Will she be bitchy?!

7:44: Keep dancing, Jean, keep dancing!

7:42: I’d like to knock back some champagne and have a bit of a giggle with Colin Firth.

7:41: I’m with Tina Fey. Let’s have a big musical number.

7:40: Switching to ABC. Ciao Ryan, and thanks for the laughs. TIM GUNN AND TINA FEY! HURRAH!

7:37: Know what? Michelle Williams is beautiful and her dress looks nice, but I wish she would someday wear something that couldn’t be described as demure.

7:32: Rooney Mara is wearing Givenchy. Awesome. The boob flaps are a little odd, but she looks great. I also wonder what will happen to her look when she’s done with the Dragon Tattoo movies.

7:28: Emma Stone in Valli. I love it.  I also LOVE how pissed Ryan Seacrest is.

7:26: “Who are YOU wearing, Ryan?” Giuliana made a funny!

7:24: J Lo! Hola lovers!

7:23: Tina Fey! Amazing!

7:16: The Dictator. With Kim Jong-Il’s ashes. Funnier than I would have expected. Also, I want to KISS him for pouring ashes on Ryan Seacrest. AMAZING.


7:15: Octavia Spencer looks fantastic in Tadashi.

7:12: Kristen Wiig is wearing a dress exactly the same color as her skin.

7:05: While I was gone: Rooney Mara in white – pretty, but odd. I love the plastic-y hair. Maya Rudolph: amazing. I also want that dress. John Of-the-garden – so lovely. SO! Lovely!

6:26: Jessica Chastain’s grandma is adorable. Also, she IS wearing McQueen. Amazing.

6:23: Shailene Woodley is a stoner, right?

6:21: Jessica Chastain looks AMAZING. I want to rip that dress right off her and keep it for myself. McQueen?

6:20: Melissa McCarthy is lovely, but I don’t love her dress.

6:19: Dear Stacy Keibler, wearing gold does not make you (or your date) get an Oscar. Also, that flower on your hip is kind of freaky.

6:12: Berenice Bejo is lovely. LOVE her earrings. Not nuts about her dress.

6:11: Ellie Kemper is pretty. I want to trim about 1/4″ off her bangs.

6:08: Rose Byrne looks gorgeous, but SKINNY.

6:07: I like Wolfgang’s Chacket.

6:06: Silver lining? No Franco. Oh, hell yes.

6:03: Ugh! You guys! The show hasn’t even started and I kind of just want to watch a movie instead.

5:59: The Goodyear Blimp! It’s not just for sporting events anymore!

5:55: Milla Jovovich’s shoulder thing is too big. But her hair is divine.

5:53: Yes. Cruelty-free silkworms. Of course.


5:40: In case you’re bored already, I give you a sentient remote controlled bowling ball chasing Beaker.

5:38: FROM THE DIRECTOR OF AVATAR, it’s an in-theater RERUN of Titanic! Hurrah! May it make another half billion dollars for the Smug One.

5:37: HA! Ross Matthews got kicked off the red carpet. He’s so obnoxious.

5:35: For the record, ELEVEN YEAR-OLDS should NOT be allowed to wear Valentino couture. Seriously.

5:26: Here are some of our picks. Dan and I are divided on a few key categories this year.

  • Best Picture: I want The Artist to win, obviously (I haven’t shut up about that movie since I saw it), but Dan’s vote is for Hugo. As for actual prognostication: I think that The Help has been gaining momentum, but at the same time, Hugo has also been getting a lot of late buzz. I fear that The Artist peaked too early.
  • Best Actor: Dan’s voting Gary Oldman (and I’d be totally okay with him winning as well), and I’m gunning for Jean Dujardin (dreamy). Odds are on George Clooney winning, though.
  • Cinematography: Since my heart was broken when Inglourious Basterds didn’t win this category, I’ve given up betting, but I dearly hope that The Artist wins. Could go to Hugo though. Dan and I agree that The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo needs to be rewarded for the opening sequence and Dan thinks it’ll happen in this category.
  • Original Screenplay: Please, God, please let Bridesmaids win.

5:23: P.S. Did anyone else LOSE their SHIT when the prison guard in Downton Abbey shouted “NO TOUCHING”?  I’m pretty sure we weren’t supposed to laugh at that moment. Also off topic, but I’m really, REALLY sick of the Lorax commercials. How could they ruin it that badly?  Ugh.

5:06: Hi all – Kicking this thing off early today. Who’s excited? It was NOT, if you ask me, a good year for movies, (here are the nominees, in case you’re really slow on the uptake) so I’m not that invested in the winners and the losers (And did you see that only 25% of the nominees are women?! What gives?)

Anyway, we’ve got some black beans cooking up on the stove (the color of the little cloud hovering over us today) and we’re twiddling our thumbs until the real show begins (about a half hour til the live red carpet show). Here are some things we’re looking forward to this year:

  • Red carpet looks from: Rooney Mara, Glenn Close, and Meryl Streep (will she do her hair tonight? who knows?). Also Sasha Baron Cohen.
  • As always, the Fug Girls will be dazzling us with their Live Blog. (UPDATE: read here)
  • Ryan Seacrest looking a fool as always.
  • Hopefully we’ll have at least one surprising result: maybe Rooney Mara will beat out Meryl Streep (riiiight).
  • Maybe someone will be hitting the sauce in the bathroom and we’ll get a bubbly speech or two.
  • Brad Pitt’s sadface when he doesn’t win. At least Angelina will be there to comfort him. (She must also be sadfacing since her movie seems to have made next to no impact. Ditto Madonna, except for the Costumes nod.)
I think that’s it, really. I still hate Kelly Osbourne’s hair. Giuliana’s dress is actually kind of cute – deco-y but frayed. (Of course she always wears something that’s frayed looking.) Doesn’t stop her being asinine, though, does it?
Anyway, come one, come all. Join this year’s live blog! Comments much welcome!
8 Comments leave one →
  1. whe permalink
    27.February 2012 03:39

    thank you for blogging! now i can read the whole thing in a few minutes with my morning coffee after eight hours of sleep!

  2. wjh permalink
    27.February 2012 03:40

    aaaargh, i HATE that i sometimes use the wrong initials…

  3. wjh permalink
    27.February 2012 03:48

    “8:43: It’s my uncle Ivan! I didn’t know he was a cinematographer.”

    wie bitte?

  4. wjh permalink
    27.February 2012 03:49

    oh, Jean Dujardin!

  5. 27.February 2012 10:04

    1) Angelina Jolie looked like she had a painful stick up her arse when Best Actor was called for DuJardin. C’mon, really Angelina? Brad will maybe win when he’s old and gray. Not for Moneyball.

    2) The Frenchies take just about all the Oscars they could! It’s the year of sexy/amusing accents!

    3) I was kind of sad that Gary Oldman didn’t win. But not *that* sad.

    4) Definitely the first time the Best Actor has had to distract a colleague with liver bits while up on stage for Best Picture.

  6. 27.February 2012 15:30

    OK, so I still don’t have internet access at home, so I’m reading this the day after. Basically, this ran like a transcript of my monologue last night, verbatim. Including, especially, the “bit of a giggle” line and the “J Lo” lines, and everything. Also: we had black beans.

    Chastain was in McQueen, and didn’t you love Emma Stone’s dress? No one else at my house did. Ugh.

  7. 27.February 2012 18:20

    Just catching up with you… (I ended up watching the carpet/ceremony without the computer).

    I loved the “going to the cinema” theme of the ceremony and the set design but was really wanting more in the music, as well (although the song sung during the In Memorium tribute was unbelievably lovely). Billy was good, maybe more so because last year’s hosts were such a hot mess, and I was surprisingly impressed by the presenters’ “banter,” especially that of RDJr. & Gwynnie and Ben Stiller & Emma Stone (she is such a button!). I also really liked the montages of actors talking about film. The winners’ speaches were well articulated for the most part and moving, especially those of the Iranian director, Smithie, and handsome Jean. Glad for The Artist, Octavia, and Meryl, naturally, but not in a HIP, HIP HOORAY way.

    Now for the important stuff… Nina and Tim were adorable and their British colleague offered up great little interviews, but where were the stars?? Felt like they were not really getting anyone of significance. Was surprised by how few interviews E! seemed to get, too. Also, didn’t see that there were any live/moving snippets of Ange on the carpet, just stills?

    -Jessica Chastain from head to toe!
    -Michelle, although the beige satine back was a little weird. Why didn’t anyone know what color it was? Seemed so obviously coral to me.
    -Colin Firth’s stunning wife in that red Valentino! Didn’t love her bag, but otherwise wow, wow, wow!

    Also AMAZING:
    -Gwynnie, especially the cape and the fact that she didn’t need any jewelry beyond that amazing cuff. Hair was a little stiff.
    -Penelope looked so “pretty” and not as fashion-forward as others so I wasn’t sure at first, but hello! absolutely classically stunning. We can throw Natalie here, as well. I agree with you on the necklace, despite how extraordinary is was and that fact that it is their chance to wear such opulent accessories. But it was too severe for the dress.
    -Viola in that dragon green with the a-symmetry toward the bottom and her natural hair!
    -Angie, obvi. Found her hair a little frizzed out when she presented, but she can do no wrong. Not as spectacular as her black strapless with major emerald earrings a couple of years ago, but the bust line, fabric, and slit were incredible.
    -Emma Stone was flawless, although Nicole Kidman totally rocked the similarly-styled dress a couple of years ago in that tangarine tone.
    -Octavia’s dress was so perfectly tailored to her body! She looked amazing.
    -Meryl was dressed for that golden accessory! Loved that her reading glasses coordinated.
    -Milla Jovovich had Tim Gunn in such a tizzy. Knock-out Hollywood glamor girl.

    -George Clooney’s date. I’m not even going to trouble myself by saying more.
    -Berenice, unfortunately. I was really trying but it’s just not working for me.
    -Sandra, Sandra, Sandra
    -Melissa Leo, although she looked beautiful when presenting. I didn’t like the shots of her in the audience and to not like the still photos today.

    Should have paid more attention to the gents, but they’re really not as much fun. I love that Christopher Plummer wore a plum velvet jacket and brown bow tie. It shouldn’t have, but it really worked.

    Can’t believe we have to wait a whole year for your next Red Carpet Live Blog!


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