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Oscars 2015 Liveblog!

22.February 2015
  • 3:25: Hey gang! I’m LATE to the party! Can’t believe it! I got busy finally unpacking some boxes from our move (18 months ago – don’t ask). Here are a few links to get us started!
  • 3:36: As ever, I HAVE OPINIONS about who should win, even though I haven’t seen many of the movies. (NEXT YEAR IS THE YEAR TO FINALLY CATCH UP!)
    • Best Picture: I’ve only seen three of the movies (The Grand Budapest Hotel, Birdman, and The Theory of Everything) and I absolutely will not be seeing one of them (American Sniper – ugh). Of the eight, I WANT Birdman to win, but I think it’s unlikely. I wonder whether Selma’s too little, too late publicity might help it to a win? Or will Boyhood win again (after winning the Golden Globe). It’s also unusual that The Grand Budapest Hotel (which won the GG for comedy, oddly) is also nominated for Best Picture. I don’t see a clear frontrunner – you guys?
    • Best Actor: Again, I loved Birdman, but I think that Michael Keaton (much like Benedict Cumberbatch) was more or less just playing himself. I think Eddie Redmayne is a lock – the Oscars love to reward roles that make one uglier/fatter/somehow radically different – and really it was an amazing acting job. I wouldn’t be overly surprised to see Steve Carell rewarded for his prosthetic nose.
    • Best Actress: Seems like Julianne Moore is the one to beat and I’d be totally fine with that, even if I haven’t seen Still Alice.
  • 3:59: I want one of Wolfgang Puck’s famous chicken pot pies.
  • 4:00: ABC’s coverage finally starting. We’re without cable, so are missing the E! disaster interviews. I trust you’ll keep us abreast of the worst faux pas. Also, what was with the childhood photos, etc? Random and condescending.
  • 4:06: Michael Keaton is not having any of this interview. Also Robin Roberts did NOT ask Chrissy Teigen about her dress.  Maybe a trend?
  • 4:13: BACK after ill-timed computer issues. Rosamund Pike is LOVELY and looks so, so much better than she did at the Golden Globes. I also could just absolutely listen to her read the phone book. Also no mention of her dress. I’m down with this, but also frustrated that I don’t know what anyone is wearing.
  • 4:14: Eddie Redmayne is adorable. I love the freckles and the lovely blue suit.
  • 4:15: Catching up: I love love Patricia Arquette’s dress, for all it’s somewhat predictable. Margot Robbie looks sensational, but maybe a touch informal? I mean, OSCARS. Marion Cotillard rocking a look that only a woman like her (i.e. slim, gorgeous, French) could really do justice to. (Though the back of it sort of looks like sweatshirt sleeves or something?)
  • 4:19: Look! They’re talking about #askhermore! Well done!
  • 4:19: Felicity Jones looks fabulous again! Dressed to win, but isn’t going to, almost certainly.
  • 4:20: Cate Blanchett! BEAUTIFUL. Couldn’t see detail, but that turquoise statement necklace looks amazing.
  • 4:23: Julianne Moore looks… Nice? SO washed out, though. And that second row of details hits her at her very widest, which is unfair if you’ve got that figure.
  • 4:24: Felicity Jones: On closer inspection, I’m not SURE about the dress. The floofiness of the bodice seems to clash with the armor-y goodness of the shape. I do appreciate a dress with forty yards of skirt.
  • 4:26: I’m over Jimmy Kimmel.
  • 4:28: I LOVE LAURA DERN’S AWESOME METAL DRESS.
  • 4:32: Now Robin is talking to Julianne Moore. Without the white background, the dress is better, but … eh. I don’t know. Her earrings, however, are perfection. I also always forget that she has wicked freckles. Love them. Also, Hooray Julianne for talking about Alzheimers.
  • 4:33: It really is amazing how much more interesting these interviews are than the asinine BS on E!
  • 4:34: Dakota Johnson is SO BLAND. Dress is great, but she’s so dull. Melanie Griffith is a little mutton dressed as lamb, but still has much more sparkle than her daughter. I do appreciate how they’re having a mother/daughter fight on the red carpet. Something tells me that this isn’t the first time they’ve had these questions tonight. Can we say SURLY?
  • 4:37: Marion Cotillard is fabulous. You just know she’s going to be fabulous forever and ever. She already kind of has the poise of Meryl or Helen.
  • 4:41: Kerry Washington’s dress is gorgeous.
  • 4:42: Chirs Pratt and Anna Faris! Love them. Her dress is gorgeous, but her head is somewhat underdressed, I think.
  • 4:42: Benedict Cumberbatch! White jacket makes me a bit uncomfortable. His (new!) wife looks wonderful. He’s charming. Continuing Alan Turing love, which is also really really nice.
  • 4:44: A better look at Chrissy Teigen’s dress reveals that it has … DANGEROUS angles. Lupita’s dress … I mean, she could just wrap herself up in newspapers or something and look great, but I’m not sure about her custom Chanel. Eddie Redmayne’s wife looks terrified.
  • 4:52: Over at New York Magazine: It’s Not Sexist to Ask About Clothes on the Red Carpet. Valid points. I think that there is a possible way to ask the question without making the WHOLE INTERVIEW about beauty. You can ask “Who are you wearing?” and THEN move on to something else. Obviously the biggest problem is the QUALITY of the interviews.
  • 4:54: Reese Witherspoon talking about #askhermore. In support of it, clearly.
  • 4:54: J Lo is in costume as J Lo again tonight. The barbie pink lipstic together with the tuberculosis chic eye makeup is a little weird close-up, though her face looks fantastic from far away. At least she left the body glitter at home tonight. (All of which is to say I LOVE her over the top dress. The one at GG – not so much. But tonight: awesome.)
  • 4:57: Scarlett Johansson with the much-vaunted haircut (I WANT IT) and an INSANE neckline.
  • 4:58: Lupita Nyongo – articulate and fabulous and WHOA she’s working on a movie with Mira Nair!! Dream team!
  • 4:58: And an ad for The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel! More of Violet and Isobel, but with modern hair!
  • 5:00: I will never not be surprised that Joanna Newsome and Andy Samberg are a couple.
  • 5:02: My cable informant directs our attention to Gwyneth Paltrow. I haven’t seen her yet, but am reminded of this other INSANE Goop Oscar Moment.
  • 5:03: Emma Stone looks fab, but the very asymmetrical hair is challenging. And she totally geeked out over Mark Ruffalo, who is, in fact, dreamy.
  • 5:04: In the interest of keeping things fair, Ethan Hawke is wearing a lot of makeup and appears to have hives on his neck. Dan says “he looks like he’s in a movie where they’ve aged him.”
  • 5:05: Robin Roberts just said “Aye, matey” in response to Ethan Hawke calling the cast of Boyhood “gentle pirates.” Things are getting unusual.
  • 5:06: Naomi Watts: I like her dress and i’m slavering over her earrings, but I HATE HATE HATE them together. Also, I forgot she was in Birdman.
  • 5:11: This year’s Oscars broadcast is sponsored by Movies for Teen Girls: ads already for Hunger Games and Insurgent. Oh, and a really trippy one for Once Upon a Time. Apparently Cruella DeVille is now a fairy tale figure?
  • 5:13: Bradley Cooper. Lately I just want to wash his hair. I also recently learned that he was in Sex and the City BEFORE Alias and I was so confused.
  • 5:14: Okay, Bradley Cooper and Emma Stone both FREAKED out about Clint Eastwood. His movies just really don’t do it for me.
  • 5:15: Faith Hill grew up all of a sudden. Dan is troubled by her visible sternum. I also feel like Tim McGraw is playing an unlikely presidential candidate.
  • 5:17: Today in sentences that make no sense to me: “Lady Gaga Performing Sound of Music Tribute at Oscars 2015 in First Post-Engagement Appearance
  • 5:18: UGH KEIRA KNIGHTLEY AGAIN. TERRIBLE.
  • 5:15: Lady Gaga in Azzedine Alaïa, whose name will never fail to remind me of Clueless. I kind of love the dress, but am not sure about the gloves. I am sure about her hair, though. HATE.
  • 5:23: Jessica Chastain is basically wearing Julianne’s bridesmaid dress from My Best Friend’s wedding, but in blue.
  • 5:25: Ooh, inside the theater now.
  • 5:26: Okay. Gwyneth has looked WORSE (see above), but she’s also looked better.
  • 5:27: The ad theme continues. Ad for the live action Cinderella. Lady Rose looks fabulous, but I wish someone had settled down with the oversaturated colors. We GET IT. It’s a FAIRY TALE MOVIE.
  • 5:30: GO TIME! Neil Patrick Harris! Yay! I like the red backdrop.
    • “Tonight we honor the best and whitest.”
  • 5:31: Clint Eastwood doesn’t like musical theater, apparently. what a bitchy face.
  • 5:32: Every opener for the Oscars includes that scene from North by Northwest. I like the shadow tricks, though. Really.
  • 5:33: Anna Kendrick. Huh. JACK BLACK though! Yay!
  • 5:35: WAIT WAIT WAIT, but why hasn’t Jack Black hosted the Oscars?
  • 5:36: Dancing Stormtroopers!
  • 5:39: Best Supporting Actor: I’m rooting for Ed Norton. It’s a heavy hitting category, though.
    • JS Simmons! THAT was surprising. I’m going to call it now: Whiplash is going to win a LOT, possibly even best picture. Years like this where there isn’t an obvious winner, movies like this do well.
  • 5:45: I love the NPH Oscar predictions shtick.
  • 5:46: Liam Neeson should never have made Taken.
  • 5:47: Introducing two Best Picture nominees at a time this year. Bold.
  • 5:50: Both Dakota Johnson and Maroon 5 are devoid of charisma. Well matched. Also, I had legitimately never heard of Begin Again until just now.
  • 5:57: Costume design. Always one of my favorite categories. I KIND OF think Maleficent should win. Winner: Grand Budapest Hotel. I’m okay with that.
    • I ALSO always love seeing what the costume designers wear. Milena Canonero is On Point. Also Wes Anderson is SO PLEASED.
  • 6:01: Grand Budapest Hotel wins makeup too. I think this is shaping up to be a Grand Budapest Sweep – UP TO BUT NOT INCLUDING BEST PICTURE.
  • 6:07: I assume you all don’t care about this, but WordPress has made liveblogging easier since last time I did it.
  • 6:08: Nicole Kidman looks fine. I hate the belt and her hair looks stressed, though.
  • 6:10: You don’t often get a movie from Mauritania!
    • In related news, I HATE how they give the Oscar for Foreign Film to the COUNTRY, not to the film makers. Dude is going to get dragged off stage.
  • 6:14: I actually really enjoyed The Theory of Everything. It should absolutely win for Eddie Redmayne, but in every other way was just not as good as Birdman.
  • 6:18: “Everything in Awesome” officially makes me want to see the Lego movie. Also, more Oscar shows need more Tegan and Sara.
  • 6:25: I love that the Oscars still do short film awards. Seems like such a good call for the future of movies. But, on the other hand, where do you even see these things?
  • 6:31: Viola Davis looks SENSATIONAL.
  • 6:37: This Glen Campbell song is way, way too depressing.
  • 6:39: Everyone always talks about the ads during the Superbowl, but man, they’re good/weird during the Oscars, too. This one, from Diet Coke, is fun.
  • 6:46: Sienna Miller just did a thing with her face that made her look EXACTLY like Julianna Margulies. It was really weird. (And obviously pretty.)
  • 6:47: Whiplash wins for Sound Mixing. This contributes to my theory.
  • 6:49: American Sniper wins Sound Editing. It’s always a war movie.
  • 6:51: Jared Leto: WE GET IT YOU’RE A ROCK STAR. NOW GET A HAIRCUT. Dan says “He looks like a sasquatch.”
  • 6:52: Supporting Actress: I don’t have an opinion here. I also always pity anyone nominated opposite Meryl.
    • Patricia Arquette on an awesome feminist rant and Meryl going bonkers in support. I could get behind this kind of thing happening all the time. (I know, yer all shocked.)
  • 6:57: Dan just rightly pointed out, it’s kind of funny that Netflix is paying HUGE money to advertise House of Cards on TV.
  • 7:01: I’m of the opinion that gloves are about to have a moment and that Amal Alamuddin Clooney was just ahead of the curve at the Golden Globes.
    • Rita Ora and Lady Gaga are, of course, musicians and so are maybe expected to be a touch idiosyncratic, sartorially, but still.
  • 7:03: Chloe Grace Moretz is just a kid, so she gets a free pass, but actresses everywhere: I ALSO APPRECIATE A DRESS WITH POCKETS. (I had them in both my prom and wedding dresses.) BUT! JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE POCKETS DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR HANDS IN THEM. Also, her dress is unassailably cool.
  • 7:07: Feast did look like the CUTEST movie ever.
  • 7:09: Zoe Saldana looks beautiful. And like she’s probably still breastfeeding those babies.
  • 7:18: President Cheryl Boone Isaacs responding to the Sony hack and not really responding to any of the diversity problems?
  • 7:22: I mean, no Wes Anderson film should NOT win for production design. Really.
  • 7:24: Idris ELBA! Hooray.
  • 7:25: Cinematography: I REALLY want Birdman to win. Hooray!
  • 7:30: Meryl introducing the Recently Deceased Montage. Gonna be a rough one this year.
  • 7:39: Jennifer Hudson can SING. Damn.
  • 7:41: Okay, and House of Cards is being used to advertise Samsung TVs. PS DO YOU ALL REMEMBER THAT HOUSE OF CARDS COMES BACK THIS WEEK DON’T FORGET.
  • 7:43: Film Editing: Here I also really, really want Birdman to win.
    • Whiplash. I don’t know guys. I think it might win.
    • Seriously, I think that Film Editing is one of the most important categories. It can make SUCH a difference.
  • 7:46: Those columns in the background are like a monument to 3d printing.
  • 7:49: Jennifer Aniston’s dress is SO Jennifer Aniston I feel like I could have described it without ever seeing it. That being said, it’s also beautiful. Except for the one stupid, stupid transparent shoulder strap.
    • Also, did anyone see Cake? Was her non-nomination as much a snub as some people think it was?
  • 7:58: Full disclosure: I still haven’t seen Selma (I live in a town that didn’t give it much of a run, alas, and missed it), but it does seem like a travesty that it didn’t get more nominations. Maybe it should win.
  • 8:03: It’s a NEW conductor for the orchestra! When did that happen?
    • Benedict Cumberbatch: not only is it the best name in history, but it is also the sound you get when John Travolta introduces Ben Affleck.
  • 8:05: Of COURSE “Glory” won. I mean, obviously. It would have been completely, utterly ridiculous for anything else to have won.
  • 8:07: I said it at the Golden Globes and I’ll say it again: rappers should always give awards acceptance speeches.
  • image8:11: In unrelated news, Lucy just went and got a drink of water and came back with her whole head wet. Not only her beard (which usually sucks up all the water from the bowl), but also the top of her head! What?
  • 8:15: I love this montage of the best moments from The Sound of Music. I appreciate that they simply don’t mention the live TV debacle. ALSO, WHY LADY GAGA. ISN’T THAT THE WEIRDEST THING EVER?
    • Totally playing it straight. I kind of wish she had come out in a cracked-out nun costume and that she would bust into a dance remix of “16 going on 17.” I mean, it’s LADY GAGA.
    • Although, her eminence Julie Andrews would NOT be scooping like that.
    • P.S. Carrie Underwood: eat it.
  • 8:20: Julie Andrews simply walking on stage is enough to make me teary.
  • 8:22: Is Alexandre Desplat the new John Williams?
  • 8:23: What is this Mr. Turner movie and why haven’t I heard of it!?
  • 8:29: Screenwriting. Birdman for original screenplay! Right? Must be!
    • Okay. It’s time for Nate Silver: What are the correlations? Surely there’s a link between Best Screenplay and Best Picture?
  • 8:33: Adapted Screenplay: The Imitation Game! That’s good!
  • 8:35: All the big awards are all split up! It’s been a while since it was SO unclear which movie was going to win.
  • 8:37: Acceptance speeches are really good tonight. First Common and John Legend, then Graham Moore (who is SO young!). I hope that the actors don’t disappoint.
  • 8:41: Best Director: This should clarify some things. Inaritu! This is excellent. Wes Anderson is probably weeping in the corner. Picturesquely.
  • 8:44: And another great acceptance speech. Really good this year.
  • 8:47: Cate Blanchett is divine. DIVINE. Presenting Best Actor! Exciting! OF COURSE it’s Eddie Redmayne, but REALLY it was deserved. He was astonishing in that movie.
  • 8:53: I’m over Matthew McConaughey. His acceptance speech last year was TERRIBLE.
  • 8:56: And OF COURSE it is Julianne Moore. I want to see Still Alice, but I’m also pretty sure it’ll be too devastating.
  • 9:00: Back to NPH’s Oscar predictions.
  • 9:03: Why does Sean Penn get to present Best Picture? More importantly, are he and Charlize Theron still a thing?
  • 9:04: I GENUINELY don’t know which film is going to win.
  • 9:04: Sean Penn, steaming turd, just made an asshole green card joke while giving Inaritu his VERY DESERVED OSCAR FOR BEST PICTURE. No more Sean Penn, please.
  • 9:05: BUT REALLY, hooray for Birdman!
  • 9:07: Love Michael Keaton.
  • 9:08: Only eight minutes over! That’s a wrap, folks! See you next year for the Golden Globes!

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