It’s Oscar time! Hooray! This year we’re watching from the west coast for the first time! How weird to be watching in the middle of the afternoon.
3:58 PM: We’re watching without cable this year, so I’ve missed the early red carpet show. The Fug Girls should be able to catch you up at their liveblog. Who’s looking good? Who’s not?
4:01: The ABC red carpet show is kicking off! Very exciting! Already caught a glimpse of Lupita Nyong’o and Amy Adams, both looking lovely.
4:02: Sidney Poitier – so classy. So above all this nonsense.
4:03: Jared Leto is going as Jordan-Catalano-Ironically-Goes-To-Prom.
4:05: Viola Davis – GORGEOUS. Love the green even with the little gapping in her armpits.
4:06: Bruce Dern and family. Beautiful. Laura looks like just a proud daughter rather than also a movie star in her own right. Kind of nice.
4:07: Harrison Ford looking younger. Dye? Fillers? What?
4:09: Commercial break: The nominations, in case we forgot.
4:11: Anna Kendrick. Is it a cool dress? I like the middle and the bottom, but I’m not at ALL sure about hte illusion netting and the collar thing. Weird. Also, dude, don’t waste your interview by warning Anna Kendrick about how slippery it is.
4:13: Amy Adams! Looks beautiful. Lots of very formal, kind of stiff hairdos this time. Not bad, but very different. I hate her earrings. Love her dress. Updated to add: That dress photographs with the best of them. Flawless.
4:14: Kevin Spacey! Blue tux! Favorite so far.
4:15: Sally Hawkins? I haven’t seen Blue Jasmine and I’m sure she’s wonderful, but that dress looks like it is intensely uncomfortable and way too heavy. Like it grew on something. Not in a good way.
4:16: Olivia Wilde in Valentino maternity. GORGEOUS.
4:19: Commercial break: Jezebel has the looks.
4:20: Kerry Washington in Jason Wu’s First Ever Oscar Gown. I find that really really hard to believe! It’s a beautiful, if shapeless dress. Actually, I think that maybe it could be a touch more tailored, even if she is very very pregnant.
4:23: Naomi Watts. LOVE the necklace. Hate the dress. Looks like a toilet paper cover.
4:25: Just checked in on Lupita Nyong’o. That is the kind of dress you wear when you’re going to win. (Anne Hathaway’s situation last year notwithstanding.) I mean, look through the history. Lots of princess dresses there.
4:29: I’ve got to say, I bought an antenna for this event today. That means these are my first local ads in this small town. Wow. That’s all. Just wow.
4:30: Just saw snippets of Cate Blanchett and J.Law. All good things. Now Jennifer Lawrence is being interviewed! Her hair is very American President. Love love love the necklace. The dress looks familiar. In a not fantastic way. Seen it before.
4:33: Cate in Armani and Chopard. The dress is lovely, but … a little too bedazzled? Can it be she’s missed this time?
4:36: Just saw a clip of Charlize Theron. LOVE it.
4:38: It’s another one of those Oreo ads! Kind of obnoxious. How long has this been going on?
4:39: Leonardo DiCaprio looks pretty great. I love when actors bring their parents to the Oscars.
4:41: This year things have gotten really really bad. I haven’t seen almost ANYTHING. I mean, really almost nothing that’s nominated. It’s shameful. So all opinions I’m about to voice about who should win are based only on my generic preferences.
4:51: Jamie Foxx brought his GORGEOUS daughter with him. Her earrings are so great.
4:53: Dear K reminded me that we’ve seen Jennifer Lawrence in red at the Oscars before. That one was much more surprising.
4:55: Jessica Biel looking monochromatic as always. Yawn. Emma Watson looking AMAZING.
4:59: Who will deliver me a chimichanga?
5:00: I loved Bradley Cooper before it was cool to love Bradley Cooper. Will Tippin forever.
5:02: Just saw Brad and Angelina from above. Her boobs look like they came through her surgeries all right.
5:01: Lupita Nyong’o wins. She looks AMAZING. Love her hair, love her jewelry, love love love her dress.
5:04: Julia Roberts. I hate that dress. Hate hate hate hate hate. Gorgeous earrings and bracelets, though.
5:05: Bill Murray looks older than I thought.
5:07: Here’s blessed, beautiful Charlize Theron.
5:09: What the hell was that? The mean-tweet skit with Jimmy Kimmel. Stupid and weird.
5:12: Will Smith knows the cameraman from Fresh Prince. I love it. They both look beautiful. But is he wearing a scarf? Jada’s hair is a little aggressively straightened for my taste. It’s like Donatella made it a prerequisite for wearing Versace.
5:15: GAGA in Barbie pink for a nanosecond. That was wild.
5:16: Sandra Bullock looking lovely in blue Alexander McQueen. Which just reminds me that Alexander McQueen was way more interesting before AMcQ died. I Mean. Really.
5:21: WHO TOLD DOVE IT’S OKAY TO REANIMATE AUDREY HEPBURN FOR THE SPECIFIC PURPOSE OF SELLING THEIR CHOCOLATE? ALSO MOON RIVER IS FROM BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S AND YOU SHOWED HER STYLE CIRCA ROMAN HOLIDAY AND THE COGNITIVE DISSONANCE IS KILLING ME.
5:23: People who are missing: Brad and Angelina skipped the interviews, Emma Watson ditto. Meryl Streep AWOL.
5:26: That’s it for the red carpet. Now four minutes of ads before the main event.
5:30: Anne Hathaway. I feel weird about this.
5:30: ELLEN! It’s Oscar time! I don’t love that suit, however. K says “like a 60′s Beatle.” Not wrong.
5:33: Philomena is there! That Liza Minelli joke! Ha!
5:34: Dan says Ellen is wearing a great Dr. Who costume. Ellen for Doctor.
5:35: Meryl Streep looks amazing. And, by the way, EIGHTEEN NOMINATIONS.
5:37: Ellen ribbing Jennifer Lawrence is the greatest ever.
5:39: “Possibility number 1: 12 Years a Slave wins for best picture. Possibility number 2: You’re all racists.”
5:40: I don’t like Anne Hathaway‘s dress, though I appreciate that she’s kept her hair short. BTW, a little too much blush.
5:41: Fassbender is sexy in that Ralph-Fiennes-in-Schindler’s-List kind of way.
5:42: And Jordan Catalano wins an Oscar! Weird. That’s a prepared speech. Probably a good thing, given his other acceptance speeches of late. Also his brother is pretty attractive.
5:46: Jim Carrey. He makes me uncomfortable. But I love his jacket.
5:47: Whoopi Goldberg is wearing some serious hand candy.
5:50: I do love a movie montage.
5:51: Pharrell Williams wearing that hat again. And GIANT red sparkly sneakers. I want some shoes like that. It’s pretty good if Bono cheers for you.
5:57: Just found Angelina Jolie. That dress is a miss for me. Frumpy.
5:59: Catherine Martin wins again for costume design. What a wonderful dress! Also, who knew she’s MARRIED to Baz Luhrman?!
6:00: Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa got an Oscar nom? Funny.
6:02: Harrison Ford enters to Indy music. Amazing. He must be so sick of it, though. Also, EARRING? Yikes. He does NOT seem well.
6:06: That big rose curtain was weird, right?
6:10: I love love the consolation prizes! KIM NOVAK! She’s … well … preserved?
6:14: I love when Frenchies win Oscars.
6:17: Sally Field – my grandma’s perennial favorite. She looks wonderful.
6:20: I’ll say it again, I do love a movie montage. Really.
6:20: EMMA WATSON! She’s so lovely.
6:24: Karen O should be everywhere always. What a lovely song!
6:26: You know, I’m all for more Muppets everywhere but really Disney buys beloved brand –> Disney pimps out beloved brand for random tie-in.
6:30: Kate Hudson looks wonderful, but I miss her cape.
6:34: VELVET SNAKESKIN BLAZER
6:36: Ellen wants pizza. I just ordered pizza. STARS THEY’RE JUST LIKE US.
6:38: Caitrin Rogers, producer of 20 Feet from Stardom, looks as good as any of the actors in the audience.
6:40: Spacey as Frank Underwood!
6:44: It’s always so great when Brad Pitt gets a haircut.
6:46: That Google Play ad was excellent for the Oscars.
6:48: Ewan McGregor is so charming. Even with long hair.
6:50: I also always love when Italians win Oscars. Even if this guy is no Roberto Begnini.
6:51: Tyler Perry presents Nebraska! (See what I did there?)
6:54: BRAD PITT. That’s all. GAH AND U2! I can’t handle all the awesome!
6:57: Three thoughts on Bono. 1. He thinks this is a stadium show. It isn’t. 2. Bradley Cooper is going to play him in the biopic in about ten years. 3. LOOK AT HIS HUGE TALL HEELS.
7:18: Pizza is here and I’m only interrupting to say that I am firmly in Lupita Nyong’o's camp. That was a wonderful acceptance speech and so nice to see it so surprising and felt so deeply. Take notes, all other nominees for the rest of time.
7:44: Whoever put Jennifer Garner and Benedict Cumberbatch on stage together was thinking of Dan and Me. (Celebrity Top Five Fantasy On Stage.)
8:01: Ugh. So sad about Philip Seymour Hoffman all over again. And seriously. Bette Midler? I never hear that song without crying.
8:05: COOGAN! I want him to win that screenplay Oscar so, so badly.
8:13: Jamie Foxx is a national treasure.
8:17: The normals (The Anderson-Lopezes) just accosted Bono on their way to the stage. Way to seize the day.
8:25: Poor Coogan.
8:27: Spike Jonze! Nice, surprising!
8:35: Alfonso Cuaron! I haven’t seen Gravity, but I like him.
8:44: I love it when Cate Blanchett is happy. And hooray for making the case for woman-centered cinema.
8:51: Matthew McConaughey it is.
8:56: Best Picture time! Exciting! 12 Years a Slave! What a happy bunch up there.
That’s all, folks. More next year.
We’ve been away from Boston for about six months now. In that time we’ve eaten at most of the exciting spots in our new town (You’ll hear about them soon. I haven’t had time to write!), but I find myself seriously missing a few places in our erstwhile hometown. Tatte bakery on 3rd St. in Cambridge is one of them.
Fig. 1. They call this breakfast sandwich the BÉCHAMEL HEAVEN. And it is. Ham, cheese, croissant, bechamel. Ridiculous and delicious.
Fig. 2. Yogurt parfait. I’ve only had one better.
Fig. 3. It was a favorite place to take visitors for long, leisurely brunches (after throwing a few elbows to get seats at a table). Pictured here: the lovely Christine.
Fig. 4. That is a white shakshuka. Potato and bacon with cream and thyme. Outrageous.
Good grief. Has it really been six months? Well. Here’s what happened. In late July we set off, leaving our beloved hovel on Hurley St. behind and heading West to new adventures. This is just a brief catalog of us and our dogs with some of the impressive sights we saw on the way.
Fig. 1. The dogs and their owners damp and windblown at Niagara Falls.
Fig. 2. The dogs and their dad at the St. Louis Arch. Damp and windblown again.
Fig. 3. The dogs and their dad at the Corn Palace. Not damp. 100 degrees and sunny. Brains beginning to cook.
Fig. 4. The family sees Badlands National Park.
Fig. 6. Dogs and Crazy Horse. Both more impressive and more insane than Mt. Rushmore.
Fig. 7. And then we arrived at our new house. That we bought. And then we panicked.
(I would submit it to McSweeney’s, but instant gratification is so much better.)
Things in my new (old) house that aren’t actually attached to anything:
- One coaxial cable that runs from room to room
- Two telephone lines (different eras)
- One wall socket (connected to electricity, but not to the wall)
- The vinyl floor in the basement
- The handle of the faucet in the main bathroom
- Two light fixtures
- One ceiling fan (connected to the ceiling, apparently not to power)
- About half of the slats on the fence
- Apparently half of my silver maple tree
- Most of the woodwork in the basement
Luckily I’m quite attached to the house.
Hello all! All of the much promised updates from our new home and the trip out *ARE* forthcoming, but for now, the first entry in a new series. I’m a member of a community email list that is endlessly entertaining. I plan to share the more entertaining emails with all of you here! Names and places redacted to protect the innocent. Enjoy!
I’m going to northern Idaho to meet my huckleberry hook-up, *****, in a few weeks. I’m buying some huckleberries for our freezer for the winter. There may be a few extra gallons. These berries have the finest provenance available. They are hand-picked in the mountains above Priest Lake, frozen in Ziploc gallon bags, and will be delivered [. . .] sometime in the next few weeks. $50/gallon.
Are huckleberries really worth $50 a pound?
… Changes, in case you were confused.
It’s been a very eventful spring around here. I was teaching approximately four times as much as I should have and all the while interviewing for permanent, real jobs. Come March, some good news rolled in and I accepted and we decided to up and move across the country. So Friday some movers are coming and driving our stuff away and come Monday morning, we’ll set off in our little blue car with the dogs, a bunch of plants I’m not willing to part with, Dan’s guitar, etc. and driving all the way to our new home in the sunny, wine-y Walla Walla Valley. That’s about 3,000 miles, but who’s counting.
(Feel free to laugh at the name. I did for the first few weeks as well.)
But of course, big new beginnings come with big sloppy goodbyes as well. This whole process feels a bit like a slow-motion breakup – after eight years in Boston (and four in this apartment), I feel ready to go, but also like it’s the end of the world. But mostly okay. But kind of devastating. You see, I’m feeling conflicted and inarticulate about all this. Packing in 90 degree heat does that to me.
This preamble is all to say STAY TUNED for exciting updates from the road and from our new house. I’ll also probably be posting about renovations as well – Dan and I plan on spending our first few days in the new (old) house pulling up carpet. Keep your fingers crossed for nice wood floors underneath.
* * * * *
But before all the new comes a bit of the old. In June I had my last hangout with two of my best girls from college. It was the tail end of a project we launched last fall where we all took photos of one another, portrait-style, to commemorate our 30th year. K did hers in Rhode Island near her home, I did mine on the beach in fall, and Liz did hers in Concord, near her home. It was a surprisingly moving process for me – I did much of the photography (not my photos, obviously) and it was nice to bookend this last year in Boston by spending some time two of my favorite faces and my camera.
And now as I pack up my life into a mountain of boxes, the dogs sniffing nervously around and wondering what fresh hell awaits (Lucy is of the opinion that SUITCASES are BAD NEWS), I find myself thinking about old friends, nerves about making new friends, how to get tipsy and play board games with them over Skype, time zones, and plane tickets. I remind myself that we can stay in touch and visit and that we’ll still be in each others’ lives. But there’s a small dark, depressing corner of me that keeps shouting “But it won’t be the SAME! Change is BAD! You’ll be all ALONE!”
And instead of facing down that fear, I pack it away as well, skipping the bubble wrap and newspaper, hoping it will break in transit. Instead I think about sunny days, bright yellow valley light, inside jokes, and easy, loud laughter.
The last day the three of us hung out was like that. The weather was perfect, we were all at ease, we went to farm stands, walked in gardens and visited the site of the first Revolutionary War battle. Now, in retrospect, it seems oddly appropriate to have visited that site that day. It was, after all, the site of a major beginning and a major end (for the nascent U.S. and British rule, respectively, obviously). It also seems appropriate that that first conflict centered on a bridge, a liminal space with one force on each side, each trying to expand their territory.
We ate salad. That’s the point of this post. It was a simple, fresh, wholesome meal and embodied a lot of what I love about The Girls. I won’t explore that thought for fear of drifting back into theory-babble territory or getting too weepy – there’s packing to be done after all. I also won’t insult your intelligence and call this a RECIPE. Instead I’ll just tell you what we did.
Weepy Delicious Farewell Girls’ Salad
- Mixed greens – we used a spring/mesclun mix with herbs thrown in.
- Pecorino romano or a similar hard, strong cheese.
- Small potatoes – we used rainbow colored ones that were about the size of eggs.
- Bright, sweet tomato – we used a yellow one.
- Green beans – those skinny, tender ones.
- Bread – if you’re in the Boston area, you have no excuse but to use Iggy’s 7-Grain
- Marinated Tomatoes
- Fruit – we used mango, apple, blueberries and mint
- Potatoes: boil them in salty water until just cooked. A fork should slide easily in and out of the potato, but the spud should NOT fall apart when you do it. Drain and set aside.
- Asparagus: break off the woody part of the stalks, toss in olive oil and generously salt. Roast in oven at 425 until the ends are crispy and the stalks fairly limp. Cut into 2ish-inch segments. Set aside.
- Green beans: break off ends and blanch until bright green and fork tender. What, about 5-7 minutes?
- Tomato: cut it up. Chunks or slices, whatever strikes your fancy. I prefer chunks. Set aside
- Greens: dress to taste. Liz’s dressing was delicious and I’ll share the recipe if she’s feeling generous. Cut whatever cheese you’re using into tiny chunks and toss with the salad.
- Put olives and marinated tomatoes (both optional, but highly recommended) into small bowls.
- Fruit: cut up whatever fruit you want. Throw in some shredded fresh mint and a splash of something sweet. We used creme de cassis, but you can use whatever is handy.
- Put it all on the table. I arranged the veggies in stripes on a big platter and we all assembled our plates to our tastes. Mine was light on leaves and heavy on marinated tomatoes.
**Pairs well with minty gin and tonics.
Hey all – back again after long long radio silence to liveblog the Golden Globes! I’m dropping the timestamp this year. Just keep refreshing! I’ll be here!
- The Red Carpet Show (on E!) started three minutes ago and Ryan Seacrest is already annoying me. That being said, I would like one of those giant heat lamps on my fictional house with its fictional patio.
- Oh, Ross. He makes me uncomfortable. Also, I *still* don’t like Kelly’s silly hair.
- So, looking ahead to the actual awards: We haven’t seen many of the movies this year, but obviously that doesn’t stop me having lots of opinions. Here’s what I want to happen:
- Best Drama: Lincoln. Because a) I haven’t seen Argo or Django Unchained and b) because Lincoln wasn’t actually that Spielberg-y.
- Best Comedy/Musical: If it weren’t for my history as theater geek, I would absolutely say Moonrise Kingdom. But then Les Miserables happened and I can’t vote for anything else because I’m so excited about it.
- Best Actor Drama: Daniel Day Lewis.
- Best Actress Drama: Helen Mirren. Because she should win all the awards.
- Taking a break from my votes: Julianne Hough (when did she become A Thing?) has kind of awesome hair. I don’t like her dress, but I want those bug earrings.
- Also, Amy Adams is adorable, but her dress is blah. Of *course* she’s wearing Marchesa. *yawn*
- Claire Danes just said “I’m hoping I don’t leak anytime soon.” about having *just* had a baby like four minutes ago. Also, Claire Danes in Versace? No Calvin Klein! And her eye makeup is too much.
- Best Actress Comedy: DAMN. How do I choose? Judi? Meryl? Maggie? Can they all win? I also deeply love Emily Blunt AND Jennifer Lawrence. Having seen none of the movies, I don’t have an opinion.
- Best Actor Comedy: Ewan McGregor. Delicious.
- Michelle Dockery (oh, Lady Mary!) in Alexander McQueen, maybe? Fabulous gold and white, anyway.
- Katherine McPhee: I realize your boobs are in danger of making a serious prison break but STAND UP STRAIGHT.
- Isla Fisher bedazzled her dress.
- Supporting Actor: Not Tommy Lee Jones. Phillip Seymour Hoffman was great.
- Supporting Actress: I *guess* I wouldn’t mind Anne Hathaway winning this one, but what about Helen Hunt? She’s so fantastic?
- Director: Kathryn Bigelow. Because those dudes win every time. I would also accept Ben Affleck.
- Zooey (the inferior Deschanel, says this Bones fan) in my prom dress. Pretty.
- File Brian Cranston under “Not Taking Giuliana’s Bullshit”
- Lena Dunham is cute. It’s a fantastic dress! Love the pleating in the skirt. Did Ryan Seacrest forget to ask who her dress is by?
- Seriously, haven’t we seen Amy Adams‘s dress about a gajillion times?
- So, gang, what’s the deal? Is Girls any good? Ought one to watch it? Also, Lena Dunham: I don’t pee in front of other girls. I think you might not be in the majority there.
- If you need more live-bloggy action: Go Fug Yourself
- AMY POEHLER AND TINA FEY OH MY GOD! Both fabulous. So effing exciting. But why is Tina Fey’s hair so light? And big?
- So, I really like Tina Fey‘s dress – the collar thing is kind of eighties-y, but I love the length. And Amy Poehler is rocking the shit out of that suit. I would have appreciated a slightly more unusual necklace with the jacket. But of course, somewhere Celine Dion is asking “but why not backward?”
- So this year’s stupid interview theme is “tell us about your crazy fans.” I’m not that interested, but it’s better than diets.
- Also, dudes. Did you notice that BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH is nominated? Cumberbatch Cumberbatch Cumberbatch Cumberbatch Cumberbatch.
- Whenever I see Bradley Cooper I just think WILL TIPPIN!
- Is that Lucy Liu behind him? In that blue and black thing? Looks good to me! Also I just asked “is that Lucy Liu? and Lucy (the dog) looked up at me like “WHAT.”
- Okay, what’s with the faux-Elizebethan corset crotch pointy thing that’s happening with some of the dresses? Julianne Hough, Lena Dunham, Zooey Deschanel… Strange.
- Jodi Foster! Love the Hair, Love the Dress, Love the Makeup. Love. Armani. Obviously.
- Also, it WAS Lucy Liu. And I love it. It also seems to be continuing the faux-Elizabethan thing.
- I want to yank Olivia Munn’s dress up about an inch. Not far, but it seems a little droopy. Also, Ryan Seacrest didn’t do his homework about OM’s newsroom background.
- Sally Field looks great! Mature, but not too “Mother of the Bride.”
- Also, does Ryan Seacrest have a girlfriend? Really?!
- Aziz Ansari! Tom Haverford! Wearing Kevin Dior. Awesome. So much swag.
- RACHEL WEISZ. LOVE. She’s Number ONE on the list of celebrities I wish I looked like. For real.
- AZIZ ANSARI: “What is that? Based on my chocolate skintone?”
- Ooh, there’s Lucy Liu! who is the dress? Oscar? RYAN IS LETTING ME DOWN. Oh! Carolina Hererra! Cool! Though I will say her hair verges on the costumey.
- Michael J. Fox is looking pretty good! That makes me happy.
- Seriously, Amy Adams makes me sad every time they cut to her. So pale. So monochromatic.
- Jessica Chastain: I don’t know what your deal is, but I love your hair.
- Jennifer Lawrence: Her dress is not that exciting except for two things: Why are her boobs so pointy? And that metal belt is really cool. I like when her hair is brown too.
- CUMBERBATCH IS COMING UP! Cumberbatch Cumberbatch Cumberbatch Cumberbatch. I’ll have a giggle with you, Benedict. Oh, yes.
- Nicole Kidman has arrived. Her dress is also alluding to Elizabethan corsetry. It’s officially a trend.
- Does it need to be said that I want Cumberbatch to win his category? I mean, really? KEVIN COSTNER? No. CUMBERBATCH.
- That Bailey’s ad was really trippy.
- Amanda Seyfried seems like she has NO confidence. Get it together. Also, it’s only a matter of time until she makes an ill-advised Madonna biopic.
- Hugh Jackman is delicious, but he needs to shave.
- On the subject of shoes. GEEZ some of those heels are TOO TALL. Jennifer Lawrence’s were at least SEVEN inches. Also, E! should just put a HANDRAIL on their platform! Dead air while these poor hobbled ladies struggle down the steep steps.
- Taylor Swift: She looks OLD. I like her earrings and I like her dress and her hair and everything, but I feel like it ages her about ten years.
- HAMM IN THE BACKGROUND! (Dan recommends a Hamm-Cam and I concur.)
- I forgot about Julianne Moore in Game Change! Surely she’ll win, right?
- Jennifer Westfeldt looks very cool in Naim Khan. I approve.
- OH NO. Rachel Weisz is demonstrating the original meaning of Scrolldown Fug. I thought itwas so cute, but then OH. NO.
- Julianne Moore looks stunning in Tom Ford. So, SO great. But is it an inch too short?
- Nicole Kidman looks great! I wish her hair were a little redder. She’s in McQueen. Obviously. I don’t love the studs.
- Jennifer Garner in something shimmery and red.
- ADELE! I love her. The dress is a little mumsy but her eyelashes are MAJOR.
- Oh Sienna Miller. Oh, NO. UGH and it’s CUSTOM? Yikes.
- Marion Cotillard is gogeous. She’s also rocking the metal belt. Dior is into that this year. The assymmetrical hem is interesting. I think I like it?
- Julianna Margulies – hello illusion netting. Wow. Skin. OH! ER LOVE!
- Clooney is pretty. As always. I really don’t care about Stacey Keibler. Armani Prive. I guess it’s good.
- Kate Hudson is auditioning for the role of her mother tonight.
- Sofia Vergara looks fabulous. I love that dress and that it’s a slightly different profile for her.
- Hey, Ben Affleck. that’s a good beard.
- Kristin Wiig has an ill-advised cutout on her dress.
- Jennifer Lopez. Very predictable. Also, shut your mouth. Too much sexyface.
- Anne Hathaway! Great hair. Also, I’m going to say that she is pregnant. There’s no other explanation for the bodice of that dress. Which is not to say I don’t like it.
- Hooray Salma Hayek! Keeping the big-ass bow alive!
- “When it comes to torture, I trust the woman who spent three years married to James Cameron.” WOW.
- “I haven’t seen someone so alone and abandoned since I saw you on stage with James Franco at the Oscars.” Zing.
- SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A MOVIE: Christoph Waltz! I love a German acceptance speech. Also, Quentin T. is silly and a little sketchy.
- SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES etc.: Come on Maggie…. YAY! And of course she’s not there. She’s so above it.
- Eva Longoria’s skirt is completely sheer. Do we like it?
- Mini-Series/Movie: Game Change! Hooray! Was Jonathan from Buffy in Game Change?
- Julianne Moore! As Sarah Palin! So crazy! A reminder: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOa98P_Mv68
- Catherine Zeta-Jones’s accent is really weird.
- Aida Tackla O’Reilly? Where the hell is she from? I like it when the President of the HFPA speaks.
- I would like to officially stop peplums from happening. It’s NOT GOOD.
- I want to die and come back as Salma Hayek.
- Actor TV DRAMA: Damian Lewis. So Homeland is good?
- Did the teleprompter completely crap out on them? Poor guys.
- BEST TV DRAMA: Homeland. Too bad for Downton. It’s not a good year for the family. This dude giving the most self-congratulatory speech ever.
- Christine is really freaked out by the Target cake mix ad.
- Argo: Worth all the hype it’s getting?
- Jennifer Lopez! She’s playing the blow-up doll version of herself in that dress. Ridic.
- Soundtrack: As long as it’s not John Williams, I don’t mind.
- Yay, Adele! Haha. Taylor Swift looks *pissed*.
- Kevin Costner?! OVER CUMBERBATCH?! HFPA IS DEAD TO ME. Poor Cumberbatch. Here, you can cry on my shoulder.
- BILLLLLLL! Lena Dunham’s face said it all.
- I mean, Lincoln has to win if they’re having Bill effing Clinton introduce it.
- Kristin Wiig and Will Ferrell are pretty cute.
- Emily Blunt might be one of my new favorites.
- Jennifer Lawrence! She’s so awesome. But seriously, all of them are so good in this category.
- Supporting actor TV: Ed Harris! He was excellent in Game Change.
- Supporting actress in a Movie: Anne Hathaway! She’s so cute. I hope she keeps her hair like that forever.
- We’re all agreed that both Amanda Seyfried and Robert Pattinson are odd looking.
- Screenplay! Quentin Tarantino? Surprising.
- EVERYONE should be like Jeremy Irons. What an odd, delightful class act.
- Debra Messing and Lucy Liu – That is a LOT of dress on one stage.
- Stallone and Schwarzenegger. So much macho. So many jaws.
- Claire Danes! I was hoping for Michele Dockery. Oh well. Glenn Close is sad.
- Sacha Baron Cohen – he’s always odd. But strangely sexy when not dressed as a random character.
- Animated feature? Brave! Hooray!
- Aziz Ansari and Jason Bateman! So excellent.
- Lena Dunham is super cute.
- Tina and Amy’s monologue: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmxBHtbAhoQ&feature=youtu.be
- Robert Downey, Jr. So great.
- Jodi Foster, also awesome. And I still love her dress. She’s just so great.
- So did Jodi Foster come out publicly? Is that what happened?
- Director! Ben Affleck, who is clearly as surprisd as we are!
- Ugh. Jay Leno. He can just fade away any time now.
- Best Comedy TV show: Girls! I guess we should watch it, then?
- Christian Bale is greasy, but still very attractive. I would also like to hear him doing Michael Caine.
- I’m sure Hugh Jackman is great, but I wish they would just give the award to someone in a COMEDY.
- So to come back to it, what was Jodie Foster on about? My sound cut out for the most (I think) important part of the speech (I guess she cursed? I would in that situation.). Is she quitting movies? I mean, sure she’s gay. What was that all about?
- Jeremy Renner is sketchy. And his little mustache is stupid.
- CHRIS PRATT is in Zero Dark Thiry?!
- What did COMCAST have to do with Les Miserables?! It’s Kabletown. Crazy.
- Actress Drama: Jessica Chastain! That’s exciting, I guess. It’s nice that a woman is winning for such a sausagey movie as Zero Dark Thirty looks to be.
- Actor in a Drama: Daniel Day Lewis! Hooray. Also, DDL’s language is NOT impoverished.
- Julia Roberts is there? Who knew?
- Best Drama! Here we go. Argo?! Wow.
- That’s a wrap, folks. Off to dream about Daniel Day Lewis ca. 1990. See you back here on Feb. 24 for the Oscars!